Friday, August 7, 2009

THE FRIENDLY FEMINIST: Haven for sex offenders

If you ever find yourself being a transient sex offender, worry no more.
There is a place for you.

Randy Young is the landlord for Brevard, Florida's "Habitat for sex offenders" -- a place built for people just like him (or you, but I'm hoping you're not a sex offender. If you are, please leave this site, and get some counseling).

Because it is hard to find housing for them nowadays. In Florida, you have to stay 1,000 feet away from churches, day-care centers, libraries, and schools. Where's a sex offender to go?

Even the flea bag motels with dimming vacancy signs, live and kicking roaches won't take them anymore. It's as if people convicted with such crimes aren't welcome...

Which is true. I would hope my neighbor wasn't a sex offender. So it makes sense to just throw them all in one place, right?


So what happens when you throw a bunch of sex offenders in one neighborhood? I don't know. I suppose they'll be better supervised, and people will know where NOT to trick or treat. But they'll probably go on their business, as long as it doesn't conflict with a few rules:

No kids (even for visitation rights)
No smoking
and a shirt is required for leaving the house.

I hope they remember to keep their pants on too.

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