When Vampires go...good?

..... Yesterday, after Stations of the Cross at church (It isn't a Jeremy D.C. blog if it doesn't have religion!), me and my girlfriend, Sanae, where getting a ride to my aunt's house when I mustered enough courage to ask her to get her Twilight DVD so we could watch it. It's been a long time coming. With Twilight fanatics for friends, one's own struggle to boycott this movie madness crumbles away slowly. Plus with a girlfriend all fired up about the vampire series, why not try to connect with her on an emotional level? Isn't that what guys have to do or something?
..... So we pop in the DVD at 9:00pm, judgment hour. Sanae's already warning me that I'll think the movie sucks. Apparently she has this idea that Jeremy is a nonchalant, indifferent, un-romantic guy. Well she got down the first two adjectives, but un-romantic? Please! I've done my share of itsy-bitsy, teensey-weensey, lovey-dovey activities. But I digress...(oh! I always wanted to use that word!)
..... Anways, so there we were, curled up on the couch, holding hands and all that, and the movie opens up with a deer? Is this Bambi? Where's the blood and gore of vampire movies like Blade? So I made sure to fill most scenes with my side commentary until Sanae threatened to turn the movie off. Close call.
..... Finally, I got swept by the movie. Once it hit the end credits, I knew I had to admit it. Twilight is...ok. It actually has an interesting story, some cheesy parts, and some great songs. Sure it's a genuine chick flick, but it still hits that sweet spot in every person.
..... If Twilight was indeed a guy movie, the main character would have been on a quest to kill every singly vampire. But instead, Bella Swan falls in love with one!? Doesn't she realize she's falling in love with a dead person!? But anyways, so they go through the lives of two "normal" teenagers. The infamous biology room and baseball scenes were pretty funny. Except, why are two juniors taking biology? Poor grades?
..... Why was everyone so pale in the movie too? I mean I know they're vampires and all but is that really the skin tone of people from Washington state? Bella hits on this in the movie when she jokes that she got kicked out of Arizona because her skin wasn't tan enough. The glittery skin of vampires in sunlight also kind of over did it for me. That was so gooey that it was cheddar cheesey.
..... The songs were pretty awesome, however. Especially "Flightless Bird" by Iron and Wine, which by the way is our song now! hahaha I'm not going to go on a description dervy talking about how the lyrics painted vivid pictures of their struggle to love each other and how the music complemented the storyline, so I'll try to save space and say it was awesome. Again.
..... My question here is why are girls all over the world falling in love with the idea of a romance with a vampire? Where has the fear gone? Where's the mob mentality that spurred people to grab their torches and pitchforks to drive those blood suckers away? Have we really come to the point in our cultural development where vampires have become sex symbols instead of frightening individuals born from evil!? Some explain that vampires represent the wild, untapped tendencies of human nature. It seems that only vampires can offer a rugged romance and if given the chance I'm willing to bet that Sanae, along with many of her Twilight colleagues, would gladly dump their boyfriends to go out with an Edward Cullen. So the thoughts of every boyfriend in the world now revolve on several things: "Where do I keep that crucifix, spare holy water, and that wooden stake I got for my birthday?"

- Jeremy Dela Cruz, Vampire Hunter